The Essence of Leadership with Randall Stutman | The Knowledge Project #95

KEYPOINTS

• 01

  Leadership is behavioral: ask what the best leaders do that others don’t.

  Most leadership training starts with personality: know yourself, know your team’s differences, and adapt. Stutman respects that, but after decades of coaching he saw that people understood themselves better and still didn’t lead better. So he asked a different, practical question: what do you do that other leaders don’t? Most leaders couldn’t answer; the answers came from the people around them. Excellence in dance, golf or exam prep rests on routines, and he argues leadership does too. He defines leadership simply as making situations and people better. Comforting someone who is grieving, or easing a team conflict with humor, counts, title or not. The best teams are ‘teams of leaders,’ not a leader with a team.

• 02

  Admired leaders get results and are loved for it, and they behave the same everywhere.

  In his first deep study, at a large Chicago energy company, Stutman found many high performers whose teams despised them, and some well-loved leaders with weak results. Only two had both, and everyone used the word ‘admire’ about them. The CEO and his whole executive team volunteered to be studied, assuming they’d qualify; none did. Stutman first thought the two were flukes because they were admired at home, at their places of worship, by neighbors and by bosses alike. It turned out to be the essence: they practiced the same core routines with everyone. A routine that works in a strategic decision also works helping a teenager choose a college.

• 03

  Routines beat techniques, because people can tell when you’re using a technique.

  Take ‘ask permission before giving feedback.’ It’s good advice, but leaders use it only when they want a particular effect, such as a formal review or a resistant employee. So they never become skilled at it, and the other person senses something unusual and gets defensive. A routine is something you do because it’s who you want to be. You do it every time, people come to see it as your style, and through practice it becomes second nature. The same applies to tips like avoiding the word ‘you’ or separating ideas from people.

• 04

  Balance feedback: make the praise as vivid, detailed and frequent as the criticism.

  Negative information weighs more than positive, so we soften criticism with throwaway praise like ‘the presentation went pretty well.’ Stutman contrasts that with genuine balance: ‘slide 8 was masterful; you took something complex and made it simple; your answer to the hardest fourth question hit it out of the park,’ followed by an equally specific list of problems. The best leaders, coaches and dance instructors all match the positives to the negatives in number and vividness. If you have five criticisms but only one strong positive, stretch to find more, or give just two criticisms for now.

• 05

  Whole relationships drift out of balance, in either direction.

  When a leader’s comments are mostly negative, people brace for criticism before you finish a sentence; ‘Do I do anything right?’ is the warning sign. Too much praise also backfires. One executive got 15 years of glowing reviews, then a new boss gave a fair critique and they ‘went catatonic.’ A newly hired CFO brought in to turn around a struggling company blasted peers in every meeting and was avoided. Stutman had her add separate, non-evaluative conversations: about her colleagues’ talent, their lives, and things she was excited about. Within about three months the relationships became productive.

• 06

  Use third-party praise as a habit.

  Results-driven leaders hold back praise because their standards are high, and some like the power of being sought out for approval. Admired leaders aren’t much more generous with direct praise, but they make a habit of praising people to someone else. It makes the person look good, carries no ‘but,’ and seems more sincere: why would you tell a third party if you didn’t mean it? It works like a ‘time-release vitamin,’ reaching the person days or months later. Stutman’s rule: treat praise like a hot potato and pass it on, whether to a peer, a child’s friend or an in-law.

• 07

  Calibrate short-term priorities constantly, not just long-term goals.

  Leaders flood people with goals, KPIs and stretch targets, but short-term priorities drive results more. Most last only a couple of weeks, so keep asking ‘what’s your focus right now?’ and share your own. Stutman’s son said his priority was Friday’s lacrosse game; Stutman pointed out the calculus exam worth 50% of his grade that day. A senior executive listed long-range process goals until Stutman asked whether an unresolved conflict wasn’t undermining everything; the executive admitted he’d been putting it off. Stutman: ‘If it’s not your highest priority, you’re going to put it off forever.’

• 08

  The universal motivator: be a fan, and prove it every day.

  At the 2005 Masters, Tiger Woods chipped onto a spot the size of a dime, and the ball paused on the lip of the cup for 2.2 seconds before dropping. A sportswriter said the crowd of about 5,000 shook the ground and willed it in. Everyone wants the people they admire rooting for them like that, whatever their culture, age or gender. So ask, ‘What would a fan do?’ Most of us cheer for good news; fans keep it alive longer. They frame the photo, write a letter worth rereading, or name a sandwich after you for three weeks. It applies even to people you don’t like: ‘Do you want to lead or don’t you?’