William Irvine: Living a Stoic Life | The Knowledge Project #123

KEYPOINTS

• 01

  He set out to become a Zen Buddhist and came out a Stoic, because Stoicism is easy to try.

  At 50, in what he calls a mild midlife crisis, the philosophy professor decided to become a Zen Buddhist and turn it into a book. To show the alternatives, he looked at the Stoics, whom he had met only in a 1970s logic class; his professors said living well wasn't 'the proper business of a philosopher'. Both schools aim at the same goal: a life full of positive emotions like delight and joy, with as little anger, anxiety and regret as possible. Zen gets there through meditation that might pay off tomorrow or in 30 years. Stoicism offers techniques you can learn in minutes and 'test-drive with no one being any the wiser'. He expected A Guide to the Good Life to sell about 12 copies. Now general-audience books on Stoicism appear at more than one a day.

• 02

  Real Stoics were cheerful people who enjoyed things without clinging to them.

  The 'lowercase-s stoic' who feels nothing and grits his teeth is a misconception. The ancients weren't anti-emotion. They tried to prevent negative emotions from arising and nip them in the bud, and they were 'connoisseurs of positive emotions'. Offered fine wine, a Stoic drinks it. When it runs out, he asks for water. The school spans a wide range: Seneca, the era's billionaire and greatest playwright; Marcus Aurelius, the emperor; and Musonius Rufus, who said a cave would do. Seneca is Irvine's current favorite, 'but ask me next week'.

• 03

  We're wired for dissatisfaction. The savanna's 'cool dude' got eaten.

  An ancestor who gazed contentedly at the sky, living in the moment, was eaten by a lion or had no food when mealtime came. The restless planners survived and are in your family tree. That wiring misfires in a world where the problem is overeating, not hunger, and where possessions aren't limited to what you can carry. So we keep raising our standards: 'if only I had…'. We're like 'thirsty people chasing mirages in a desert'. Seen from our ancestors' point of view, we live in a dream world, with running water, toilet paper and a phone that can order pizza in Hong Kong, yet we complain about not having the latest model.

• 04

  Negative visualization: briefly imagine losing what you take for granted, then savor it.

  Irvine leads Shane through it. Close your eyes and imagine that darkness is all you'll ever see. Then imagine your eyes are glued shut and can never open. Let that sink in, then open them: 'Isn't that absolutely incredible?' He insists it should be a 'flickering thought', never dwelling, which would be 'a recipe for a disastrously suicidal life'. The Stoics were 'emotional preppers', ready for things to get worse, which made them grateful for what they had. His wife sometimes hears him shout 'Thanks for existing!' from the back bedroom after he imagines her gone.

• 05

  Turn the dichotomy of control into a trichotomy.

  Epictetus divided things into what you control and what you don't. Irvine adds a middle category: things you partly control. You can't stop an asteroid. You can choose your values, your goals and, with effort, your responses. In a tennis match you can't control your opponent's training, strategy or effort, but you can control your practice, conditioning and game plan, so put your attention there. Anxiety often comes from fixating on what you can't control. Choosing your values is itself within your control, and you can then build a strategy toward them.

• 06

  Treat setbacks as tests, and reframe within five seconds before anger catches fire.

  You're locked in your skull for life with two roommates: one with anger issues ('you should be furious about what he said') and an anxious one who whispers worries as you fall asleep. Both are evolutionary leftovers. In his book The Stoic Challenge, Irvine catches the first smolderings of anger and gives himself about five seconds to reframe. Each setback becomes a test with two parts: find a workaround, and don't get upset while doing it. A broken pipe costs a few hundred dollars to fix. The damage comes from the flood, and most harm from setbacks is likewise self-inflicted. Even practicing Stoics feel 'meta-anger', anger at being angry.

• 07

  Choose whose opinion counts: mentors, limited mentors and anti-mentors.

  One negative comment outweighs a thousand compliments, so Irvine stopped watching the chat during Zoom talks after spending seven minutes reacting to a single jab. Praise from strangers whose values you don't know means little, which is why he keeps social media to a minimum. Praise from a mentor deserves celebration. He keeps 'limited mentors', such as rowing coaches whose criticism he welcomes. An anti-mentor plays a different game, often the social-status game. If they approve of you, you're doing something wrong, and their disdain is a good sign: 'like bringing a hockey stick to a baseball game'.

• 08

  Failure, especially public failure, is a sign you're attempting hard things.

  Irvine doesn't enjoy failing, but he's 'a big fan of failure' because it shows someone is trying things that are hard for them. If you never fail, the Stoic advice is to switch to something harder. Criticism is a different matter. It used to cost something: attacking a neighbor made onlookers wonder whether you'd do the same to them. Now anonymous pile-ons let some people treat outrage as a day's work ('I piled on to 18 people today, I've earned my beer'). Shane adds that critics who aren't in the arena rarely add much.