How to Achieve Your Most Ambitious Goals

KEYPOINTS

• 01

  Liken yourself to a plant that was planted

  This solo episode starts with a phrase from Victoria Monét's Grammy speech for Best New Artist: 'I like to liken myself to a plant who was planted.' Monét spent 15 years writing for and with Ariana Grande, Kendrick Lamar, Selena Gomez, Doja Cat, Brandy and Fifth Harmony before being recognized as an artist herself. Mel's daughter Kendall, a 23-year-old singer-songwriter, urged her to listen to it. Mel builds the whole episode around the metaphor as a way to keep going while the payoff is invisible.

• 02

  Name your 'Grammy moment', or settle for a small seed

  Mel asks you to fast-forward 1, 5 or 15 years and picture something big. It could be money, a beach house, a tour, a million YouTube subscribers, a design brand or selling a business. If nothing comes, go smaller: the nagging idea you keep ignoring, like picking up your paintbrushes or walking after breakfast. Stop debating whether to be 'a tulip, a daisy, an oak tree or an asparagus.' You don't need to know what you'll become.

• 03

  Everything the plant needs is already in the seed

  An acorn holds all the intelligence to become an oak, and a tulip bulb holds everything it needs to bloom. Mel's point is that having the vision at all is evidence the seed is in you. When doubt shows up ('that is a dumb idea'), let the seed take root instead of arguing it out of existence.

• 04

  You're designed to grow, toward the light

  Put cut tulips on a counter and within 24 hours they'll be leaning toward the window. That's phototropism, and Mel says the human version is action. Feeling stagnant or lost is often a sign you aren't acting on the idea. Ask yourself every day what one thing you can do to move toward it.

• 05

  You can't force a bloom

  Gardeners know peas go in by St. Patrick's Day and pumpkins right after Mother's Day if you want them by Halloween. No one plants zucchini Monday for Friday's dinner. Mel says a planted acorn takes almost six weeks to show anything. That invisible stretch is when the roots form, and people quit during it.

• 06

  Social media sells the overnight myth

  Feeds push million-dollar-in-a-week and two-week six-pack programs. Even the makeup tutorials and new clothing lines took two or three years of work before that one polished post. Thinking in those terms makes you feel things should be faster and that it should be your turn already.

• 07

  Soil can be dirty or nourishing

  Monét said the music industry 'can be looked at as dirty or as a source of nutrients and water.' Mel asks whether you're even planted, or still 'a pack of seeds on the display rack at Home Depot' while you look at other people's gardens. The honest checks: have you drafted the book's table of contents, talked to your boss about moving from HR to marketing, or actually called therapists and checked insurance?

• 08

  The grass grows where you water it

  If your lawn is dirt, stop staring at the neighbor's, whose dad maybe installed it for them. Seed it and water it every day. Planners and prep can feel like progress, Mel admits, but they aren't the work. 'No one is coming.'

• 09

  Those who already made it are allies, not competitors

  For people who have started but stalled, Mel's fix is a bigger pot: richer soil and a new environment. She joined a mastermind of authors and podcasters. Those who have had their Grammy moment know what you're going through and 'should be your best friends.' They won't cast shadows on you.

• 10

  Stalls usually mean you dropped the fundamentals

  If you've been at it a while, you may be on autopilot and resigned, skipping the tedious basics. A lawn that's lush in June burns up if you stop watering. Success, Mel says, is a game of stamina: have your cry, then get back after it tomorrow.