3 Ways To Brainwash Yourself for Success & A More Meaningful Life

KEYPOINTS

• 01

  Seeing meaning in coincidences is a choice

  In this solo episode, Mel argues that writing off a coincidence as 'just a coincidence' amounts to declaring your life has no magic in it. Calling it a sign is what gives life meaning. You get to choose what events mean: the rain stopping just before your first job interview on Zoom, your parents' wedding song playing on a date, or a house numbered 508, the area code of the state you're leaving.

• 02

  Research links noticing synchronicity to life satisfaction

  Mel cites a new study in Frontiers in Psychology titled 'An underexplored pathway to life satisfaction.' In her summary, simply being aware that synchronicities exist was associated with greater life satisfaction. Her three-step system is her own translation of research by Dr. Bernard Beitman of the University of Virginia School of Medicine, whom she calls the leading researcher on synchronicity.

• 03

  Why it matters: resilience and depth

  Mel gives two payoffs. First, spotting signs when life is hard helps you keep fighting and stay optimistic. When she moved to Vermont and hated it, she saw evidence everywhere that it was a mistake. Second, results feel more profound when they aren't just luck or hard work. She tells listeners that out of roughly 150 million podcast episodes, they picked this one because they were meant to.

• 04

  Skill one: state it, then claim it

  According to Mel, people who experience many synchronicities score high in 'referential thinking,' the belief that what happens around them has to do with them. So say what you want before it happens, like 'I want a line to open up' at a supermarket with seven people ahead of you. When it happens, smirk and tell yourself, 'I made that happen.'

• 05

  Expecting the worst doesn't help you find anything

  Mel admits you won't always find the dress or meet the perfect contact. But walking into a networking event thinking 'this is a waste of time, I'm shy' can't help you, while expecting something good gets your mind to 'conspire to help you.' It spots the dress on the pajama rack. Before an event, state something like 'I'm going to meet someone who can help with my job search,' or 'someone who needs to buy a house' if you're a real estate agent.

• 06

  Skill two: match your energy to what you stated

  If you say a line will open while staying angry and scrolling your phone, your energy contradicts what you set in motion, and Mel says that blocks it. Ask whether how you feel right now fits the outcome actually happening. If not, imagine the moment it does, like the next lane opening and three people moving over, and bring that feeling into the present.

• 07

  Skill three: find the bigger meaning

  Treat synchronicities as guidance from a force, whether you call it intuition, your higher self, God, or a loved one who has died. Mel suggests choosing a sign, such as a hummingbird for your mom, stating that you'll see it today, expecting it, and taking it as confirmation when it shows up in real life, on social media or on a menu. Doing this on ordinary days, not just big ones, deepens the practice.

• 08

  Connect the dots backward too

  Looking back honestly, Mel says you can see why the painful breakup or the school rejection had to happen, and spot the 'just know it' moments when life was already steering you. She mentions knowing a relationship had to end six months before it did, leaving a job before the company folded, or skipping a train where everyone got sick.