How to Motivate Yourself: Leverage Dopamine & Overcome Your Excuses

KEYPOINTS

• 01

  Motivation simply means you feel like doing something

  Mel notes the research definitions (a general desire or willingness to act; the force behind starting, continuing or quitting something) and boils them down: motivation is feeling like doing it, and a lack of motivation is not feeling like it. When you feel like it, action is easy; the trouble is the other '99%' of life.

• 02

  Dopamine drives cravings, not chores

  Often called the molecule of motivation, dopamine is tied to the brain's reward system and pulls you toward what you crave. You're eager to cook when you get home hungry, but not to do the dishes afterward. Mel says foods you love spike dopamine by about 50%, and lists meth, cocaine, nicotine, sex, social media, video games and sugar as top spikers. College applications, résumés, dating profiles and stepping on the scale aren't on the list.

• 03

  'Motivation is garbage' because it vanishes when you need it

  If motivation were on tap, Mel jokes, everyone would have a million dollars, six-pack abs and a dream side hustle. Waiting to feel motivated for things you don't crave is effectively deciding they'll never happen, and knowing what you need to do isn't enough.

• 04

  Let yourself feel the setback before you push

  Sadness and frustration after working hard and falling short are appropriate; Mel says they show you're mentally healthy. She knew it wasn't the moment for a pep talk. What matters is what you do after the wallowing.

• 05

  You can't motivate someone else, and pressure makes it worse

  Mel badly wanted her son to push through, but says she couldn't feel it for him or 'spray him with motivation'; more pressure would leave him more demoralized. What you can do is help someone reconnect with their own drive through the same two steps you'd use on yourself.

• 06

  Step 1: Remind yourself why this matters to you

  If you don't really want something, or don't know why, you won't do the work. Mel cites University of Oregon research that knowing your why aids self-regulation and helps you prioritize the work over easier distractions: coming home from ski practice instead of taking extra runs, or getting up early to work on your résumé.

• 07

  Dreams set a direction; you don't have to achieve them

  Pursuing reach goals forces you to do things you normally wouldn't, and that shapes the person you become. Mel says Oakley wasn't applying just to get in somewhere but to be the kind of person who gives it his all.

• 08

  Step 2: 'Just do it,' and the key word is 'just'

  When Mel asks keynote audiences of 10,000 which word in Nike's tagline matters most, they guess 'do,' then 'it.' Her answer is 'just,' which captures the universal moment of hesitation on the sidelines, when fear or feeling unworthy keeps you thinking instead of acting. Push through with the 5 Second Rule's 5-4-3-2-1 and act.

• 09

  Full speed means 100% of what you have today

  Mel's caveat: slow down first to know your direction, since speed without clarity is running in circles. Then give your best effort, whatever that is today. Borrowing from brain coach Jim Kwik, if you only have 20% and you give 20%, that's full effort; Mel says she has been at about that level for two months from overwork.