Stanford Luck Researcher: How to Manifest the Life You Want

KEYPOINTS

• 01

  Fortune happens to you; luck is what you control

  Dr. Tina Seelig has a neuroscience PhD from Stanford, has taught there for more than 25 years and wrote What I Wish I Knew About Luck. She points to the 'apparently' in the dictionary definition: luck is success or failure apparently caused by chance. On the surface it looks random, but underneath are things you did to 'tempt good luck your way.' Fortune is the wind: good or bad things that just happen. Luck is building a sail to catch it.

• 02

  Life isn't fair, but you still have choices about how to respond

  Mel pushes on discrimination, harassment and the cost of living. Seelig agrees people face very real, unfair circumstances, including medical problems and dysfunctional families. Her point is not that hardship isn't real. It's that you can either throw in the towel or ask, 'How do I respond, and what can I do here?'

• 03

  You're always one conversation away from a different life

  Some of Seelig's closest friends and collaborators started as strangers next to her in line. If she hadn't started those conversations, 'that entire world would not have existed.' Each small move, like a hello, a question or an application, opens doors that inaction keeps shut.

• 04

  Her framework: build the sailboat, recruit the crew, hoist the sail

  The sailboat is your internal work: core values, the story you tell about yourself, your risk profile and your goals. The crew is other people, since 'luck seldom sails solo.' That means asking for what you want, helping others and showing appreciation. Hoisting the sail is the right kind of hard work. Mel admits she has worked very hard 'spinning in place,' so effort alone isn't the point.

• 05

  Core values are the keel that stops you from being manipulated

  Without clear values, Seelig says, people can be talked into unethical or illegal things, and after the first compromise the second gets easier: a slippery slope. She shares her own costly mistake (below) as proof that not thinking about values can make you 'unlucky.'

• 06

  Map your comfort with six types of risk, then stretch a little

  She uses a 'spider chart' scored 0–10 on six risk types, including physical, emotional (telling someone how you feel), social (toasts, speaking up in meetings, being public), financial and intellectual (tackling problems creatively). Your scores reveal what you value and where your habits may be holding you back. Risk tolerance is a skill: someone who starts at a 2 can become a 4 and then a 6 with repetition.

• 07

  Generosity is one of the clearest traits of lucky people

  When she asks people what made them lucky, a common theme is how much they help others, and that help 'comes back in wave upon wave.' Small kindnesses you've forgotten can have big returns. One of the biggest gifts is introducing someone to someone else.

• 08

  Make yourself easy to help and always say thank you

  Asking for a 'five-minute favor' makes a busy person likely to say yes. Most people talk themselves out of asking: 'she's too busy, I'll be a burden.' Seelig calls not sending a thank-you note 'a huge missed opportunity' because so few people do it.

• 09

  Curiosity and questions capture luck

  Before something is your passion, it's something you know nothing about. Instead of waiting to 'find your passion,' try lots of things, ask lots of questions, listen well and keep what works.