How to Make 2026 the Best Year: 6 Questions to Ask Yourself

KEYPOINTS

• 01

  A great year happens by choice, not chance, and planning starts with looking back.

  Mel says the urge after a hard year is to say 'let's just put this sucker out' and only look ahead. Skipping the review means skipping the most important part of planning: you can't map where you're going without knowing where you're starting from. She and her husband Chris have done this year-end ritual for 22 years, and their three adult children have joined in for about the last 10.

• 02

  The six questions: low points, high points, lessons, stop, continue, start.

  The first three are about looking back on the past 12 months. The last three turn those answers into decisions for next year. Mel says the questions are simple on purpose.

• 03

  Naming your low points is self-awareness, not drama.

  If you've woken up with low-grade dread or constant worry about money, politics, war, climate, your kids, your parents or your health, Mel says that doesn't mean it was a bad year or that something is wrong with you. It means you're alive and paying attention. She cites a 2018 study from UC Irvine and Penn State that tracked what happens when people push down emotions after hard events instead of processing them. Her takeaway is that sitting down to face the low points gives your brain a chance to process them.

• 04

  Low points become personal reasons to change.

  When your goals come from your own lows, like being lonely, always standing in the back of photos, sitting on the bench while your family hikes, or getting winded on the stairs, they stop being 'the internet says I should.' Psychologists call this intrinsic motivation: 'I get to do this because I want to feel better.'

• 05

  High points usually reveal what matters most, and for most people that's other people.

  Every one of Mel's highs involved people she loves. That's an obvious lesson, she admits, but slowing down to look back 'sears' it in. She ties it to research: Cornell's Karl Pillemer and the Legacy Project found that the top end-of-life regrets are leaving things unsaid and not spending time with people while you could. The Harvard Study of Adult Development identifies relationships as the number one predictor of a good life.

• 06

  Good years are scheduled in advance.

  Mel started the year celebrating her dad's 80th birthday because the family put it on the calendar two years earlier. She saw her parents, her kids one-on-one and her friends because she planned it. The lesson is to get out your calendar and book it.

• 07

  Deciding what to stop is strategy, not giving up.

  Her examples include stopping going to a job that makes you miserable, stopping telling yourself the economy means you'll never find a job or that you'll never meet the one, stopping beating yourself up about your body, stopping trying to change your partner, dropping 'I'm too old or too young,' and no longer sitting home waiting for people to call. Take responsibility for your own social life, and stop doom-scrolling at night. 'Stopping becomes the lever that moves you forward.'

• 08

  Keep doing the habits that worked, even if you weren't perfect.

  Mel is keeping her daily walk (she did it no matter where in the world she was), therapy with her husband, and the Let Them mindset, which she credits with making her less controlling and judgmental. She's also continuing resistance training and getting more protein, but more flexibly: 'I can walk. I can do Pilates.'

• 09

  Start something that scares you a little, because that's a sign it matters.

  Start ideas from the episode include walking with a neighbor three mornings a week, starting a walking group (Mel's from when she moved to Vermont still meets), starting therapy, going to bed 30 minutes earlier with your phone in another room, speaking up in meetings, day trips, learning a language, dating again, picking up a hobby, saying no or yes more, and building a morning routine.