The Most Important Career Advice You’ll Ever Hear With Harvard Business School’s #1 Professor

KEYPOINTS

• 01

  The best negotiators are great communicators, not tough guys

  Brooks, a behavioral scientist with a Wharton PhD, was hired at Harvard Business School to teach negotiation and later created TALK, a waitlisted course on conversation. She says studies of real negotiations show the best negotiators build relationships, work out what the other side needs and deliver it. Most deals involve more than one issue, and even making the interaction pleasant is value that makes a concession more likely.

• 02

  People who thrive at work are good at conversation

  Brooks says high performers do well talking with co-workers, bosses, clients and investors, and are people everyone likes working with. Leaders from CEOs to the night-shift manager at a restaurant tell her their success came from connecting with people. Business students over-focus on hard skills like finance and accounting.

• 03

  Assume nobody at work knows what you're working on

  Mel cites research that, especially for women and minorities, promotion depends on whether contributions are known. Brooks says that if you trace how someone became known as a high performer, it often leads back to them telling someone. If something great happens and no one notices, it's up to you to share it.

• 04

  Trying to persuade backfires; trying to learn works

  Brooks calls the persuasion mindset 'very dangerous.' Before asking for a raise, find out what your boss values, what you're nailing, what to drop and how replaceable you are. If 200 résumés sit on their desk, your leverage is weak. A learning approach turns the talk into joint problem-solving and, she says, ironically makes you more persuasive.

• 05

  Ask for casual feedback all the time, not just at review season

  Formal 360s and annual reviews are high-stakes and nerve-racking. Brooks prefers quick questions: 'What did you think of my slides? Should I have used slides at all?' Regular asking keeps you in the conversation as a visible contributor and makes the other person invested in you.

• 06

  Real strength in a raise conversation is open-minded, not righteous

  After the groundwork, Brooks says it's fine to ask whether the organization can afford a raise and whether your boss has the power to give one. Mel pushes back that it sounds weak, and Brooks says strength in conversation looks different from what we imagine. Mel adds that assuming you're owed more because the company seems successful is arrogant when you haven't seen the P&L. If the answer is no, ask what it would take, such as bringing in more clients.

• 07

  Pay isn't the only thing to negotiate

  Brooks stresses that money matters tremendously, but happiness at work also depends on meaning, relationships, a work bestie, parking and good coffee. If a $10,000 or $20,000 raise isn't possible, she suggests asking for a four-day week, an office espresso machine, or hiring a well-qualified friend for an open role. She also advises behaving like the job you want: once you're doing next-level work, point it out.

• 08

  Networking means curiosity, not dazzling people

  Mel cites the claim that 80% of jobs aren't listed. Brooks recommends in-person or phone contact over LinkedIn, and not leading with 'I'm looking for a job.' Ask for five minutes to learn what someone works on, what their pain points are and what their organization is missing. That's also how she says job seekers should prepare: work out what the organization needs instead of how to look impressive.

• 09

  Reframe nerves as excitement instead of trying to calm down

  Brooks's dissertation research, which Mel has cited for seven years, says anxiety comes from uncertainty plus lack of control. Because it's a high-arousal state (racing heart, sweaty palms), telling yourself to calm down rarely works. Saying 'I'm excited,' ideally out loud, shifts you toward imagining how things could go well. People performed better because they spent less prep time fighting their nerves.