8 Simple Reminders You Need to Hear Right Now

KEYPOINTS

• 01

  The word in listeners' messages is 'exhaustion'

  Mel opens this solo episode by saying the word she keeps seeing in emails and comments is exhaustion: carrying too much, worrying too much, taking care of everyone while holding yourself to an invisible standard of having it all handled. Her lesson, which she says she has to keep relearning, is that you don't have to earn rest. The eight reminders are meant to steady you when your mind starts spinning and to make 'I can do today' feel true.

• 02

  Reminder 1: 'Twenty years from now, you'd give anything to be back in this moment'

  The quote, from writer Rich Webster, continues: you'd give anything to be 'this exact age, this healthy, and back in this exact moment. Take a second and enjoy it.' Mel points out that your past self once dreamed of the job, partner or kids now stressing you out, and your 95-year-old self would give anything to return to today, with the people who won't be around then.

• 03

  Enjoy the now by noticing, not fixing

  The skill is seeing the good in the middle of the chaos. You can be exhausted and annoyed that nobody else fed the dog, and still look at the dog and appreciate having one, the dog your 16-year-old self dreamed of. If you can't drop into the present, Mel says, small irritations will steal your days.

• 04

  Reminder 2: pausing to ask 'Is this worth my energy?' is an underrated life skill

  Big crises demand energy. What drains you are the constant tiny moments when you hand it away without noticing: the urge to react, fix, explain, prove, defend or spiral. Her new skill is to pause instead of projecting or reacting, then decide whether this deserves your energy given everything that matters to you.

• 05

  Reminder 3: learning to take nothing personally will change your life

  Most of what people do has nothing to do with you. 'Let their mood be theirs. Your life is yours.' The person in front of you is carrying their childhood, whatever just happened at work, whether they've eaten and how well they handle stress. That's why you pick up on a tone and feel you have to manage their mood. Giving away your peace of mind is one of the quickest ways to lose your power.

• 06

  Reminder 4: if you wait until you feel better to live, you'll wait forever

  From the account Awaken One: if you're sad, do it sad. Anxious, do it anxious. Uncertain, do it uncertain. Healing, happiness and change come from doing things, not before them. Mel adds that every long stretch of feeling lost, broke or alone in her life was followed by a period of growth.

• 07

  Reminder 5: you are responsible for your own happiness

  Reading from page 297 of The Let Them Theory: you can have the life, love story, money or career you want. 'The question is, will you let yourself do it because no one else can stop you.' You're responsible for your energy, for defining what matters, for telling the truth when it's hard and for paying for your life. 'Nobody owes you anything but you. You owe yourself everything.'

• 08

  Stop playing victim to your own life

  The moment you stop expecting others to make you happy or pay for your life, you stop living disappointed and start living on purpose. Bad things do happen, but staying stuck is a choice: 'I may not be responsible for where I am right now, but I sure as hell am responsible for what happens next.'

• 09

  Reminder 6: you can't change what happened, but you can change what happens next

  Mel says she hates 'everything happens for a reason,' because terrible, undeserved things happen and life can be cruel. Her version: everything doesn't happen for a reason, but you can find a reason to move forward. Look for the lessons and the strength the experience built.

• 10

  Reminder 7: maturing means realizing that what others do isn't about you

  Mel says people misread Let Them as allowing disrespect. It's the opposite: a boundary. You recognize what someone is doing, accept that you can't control them, and take your power back by deciding how much time and energy they get. Even when you choose to spend time with difficult family, you walk in seeing it coming instead of gaslighting yourself.