If You Feel Overwhelmed & Uncertain About Money, Watch This

Guest: Lewis Howes
Read time: ~5 min
Uploaded: 12 May 2025
Duration: 1:09:47
Views: 552.3K

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KEYPOINTS

01
The story 'I'll never get out of this' keeps you stuck
Mel says that for months after her family's 2008 collapse she told herself she'd never fix it and would lose everything. Telling that story 'kept me spiraling in place' and hid the simple steps experts recommend. Lewis felt the same, that money was hard, stressful and beyond him. His counter is that money looks complicated only until you learn the tools, like riding a bike: scary at first, and then you wonder why you were afraid.
02
Massive action beats waiting on the couch
Lewis's turnaround came from doing things, not from a plan: messaging executives on LinkedIn, going to Toastmasters despite a terror of public speaking, even learning salsa, anything to build skills. Mel stresses the time it took: about five years of reps, couches and buses before things changed, and about 15 years for her to fully climb out.
03
Make money from the skill right in front of you, even if it isn't your dream
Networking on LinkedIn made Lewis the 'LinkedIn guy.' He ran free events, then sold a $200 sponsorship booth, then one-on-one profile consulting, then a book sold at events. Teaching LinkedIn wasn't his calling, but it paid off debt and got him off his sister's couch. When it stopped feeling right he moved on, but only after building savings.
04
Generosity matters most when you have little, and time counts
Lewis says the wealthiest guests he has interviewed over 12 years of The School of Greatness all describe giving as a habit to build when you have little, not a lot. With no money, give time, energy, curiosity and service: help at church, call a struggling friend, go for a walk with them.
05
Self-leadership is the most valuable money skill
Asked which skill could put someone on track for six or seven figures within two years, Lewis didn't say coding or AI. He said leading yourself: regulating your emotions, believing in yourself, reflecting and journaling, and keeping morning and evening routines. Hard skills still help, and public speaking was one of his most valuable, but he calls self-leadership the foundation. 'Stack the wins' daily for momentum.
06
Step one: write out your money wounds
List childhood memories that left you anxious, avoidant or ashamed about money: parents fighting about bills, moving schools, being teased for clothes. Lewis says many people still act unconsciously from wounds they haven't healed, and the charge is stronger inside an intimate relationship. Healing means forgiving yourself and recognising that as an adult you can do things differently.
07
Step two: reset your money mindset through education and gratitude
Learn, find mentors, and have money conversations until they feel safe rather than scary. Lewis thanks money when it arrives and when it leaves, including taxes he used to hate. Paying a student loan becomes 'I'm proud I can afford this.' Paying the phone bill becomes thanks for being able to call your mum. He suggests saying 'Money is good. Money is my friend. I feel safe with money,' while admitting it won't feel true at first and has to be backed by daily behaviour.
08
Step three: define a meaningful money mission, even a three-month one
Making money just to make money still stresses you out. Ask how it will serve you, your family and others. His mission, to impact 100 million lives a week, lets him turn down alcohol, gambling and porn sponsors. Mel's mission in crisis was simply safety: falling asleep knowing the bills were paid. A short-term mission could be paying off one card, learning to cook or reading a money book.
09
The 'priority pendulum' runs from passion to practicality
Chasing passion may take years to pay. A purely practical job can drain you. Sometimes you need that phase. Lewis once drove trucks six hours a day for $250 a week, and Mel calls the first job she got when she couldn't pay bills the best she ever had. The goal is to move toward the middle over time, where passion and income line up.
10
Changing your habits can cost friendships, so let them react
Lewis lost friends when he disappeared for months to focus. People can resent you for 'killing off the person they once knew.' Mel compares it to the friend who skips the party scene and comes back marathon-fit, and notes we often spend money we don't have to shape what others think of us.

EXAMPLES

01
Mel's all-in restaurant bet
Around 2008, at 41, she and her husband Chris scaled a successful pizza place by securing it with their house, a home equity line, every credit card they could get, the kids' college savings and their 401(k)s. The recession hit, the house couldn't be sold without owing money, she lost her job, and she describes ending up a million dollars in debt.
02
The rehearsed grocery-store line
Knowing the account was overdrawn, she'd pick credit, since debit would definitely bounce, and pray for a glitch. When it declined: 'That's strange, it just worked at the gas station,' then she'd say she was running to the car for cash and never come back.
03
Broccoli in his pockets at Toastmasters
At 23 or 24, after an Arena Football League stint in Huntsville paying $250 a week plus food stamps, Lewis had a wrist surgery using bone from his hip and spent six months in a cast. At a Toastmasters meeting, in a cut-off shirt, he stuffed snacks into his pockets. A man named Frank asked what he was doing, bought him lunch, became his mentor and later co-wrote Lewis's first book, about LinkedIn.
04
The $5,000 speech goal
Lewis wrote down earning $5,000 from a single speech within nine months, signed and dated it, and framed it by his bed. He went to Toastmasters every week and gave free workshops. He was thrilled when someone paid $100, and he hit $5,000 by the deadline. He credits the deadline's urgency and insists it was weekly work, not wishing.
05
The $5 shoebox club
As a dyslexic kid with few friends, Lewis couldn't answer a basement club's entry questions (name someone who walked on the moon, the first three presidents). His mum dug $5 in quarters out of couch cushions. He handed over the shoebox, sat alone for an hour, and took away the lesson that he had little value.
06
Asking for stories, not advice
His early LinkedIn messages asking broke-guy questions like 'Can I pick your brain?' got no replies. When he researched people and asked them to tell him about a specific triumph, they replied, took him to lunch, and gave him advice through their stories.

OTHER RELEVANT

01
Mel's starting checklist
Open the bills you've been avoiding. Call the credit card companies. Print your monthly statement and highlight wasteful spending, including unused subscriptions. Talk honestly with family. Question the house, the car, even Netflix. Then get a job, a second job and a side income. For her it took a decade.
02
Audit your feed
Notice whether your social media pushes you to spend money you don't have or teaches you to handle money better, and change your inputs accordingly.
03
Make money a weekly conversation
Share what you're learning with a friend or family member and ask for their biggest takeaway. Lewis says it took him years before talking about income, spending and debt felt safe.