Hate Your Job? Laid Off? Reimagine Your Future & Take the Next Right Step | The Mel Robbins Podcast

KEYPOINTS

• 01

  You don't need answers to change direction, just a wake-up call you take seriously.

  Mel and Amy Porterfield both describe a moment of 'I want that' before they had any plan. Mel's point is that this jolt is the only thing you need to start pivoting, provided you pause and pay attention to it rather than dismissing it with 'that won't happen for me'. She calls it a 'pad thai moment' for your career: a whole world you had never considered because you simply didn't know it existed.

• 02

  Jealousy tells you what you want.

  When Amy felt envy watching business owners describe their lives, she asked herself exactly what they had that she wanted. Her answer was being her own boss, setting her own hours and never having to ask for a raise or for vacation. She says getting clear on that was the first real step.

• 03

  Start with the life you want, then build the work around it.

  Before choosing a business, Amy asks students what lifestyle they want: home for dinner, more income to invest, control over their time. Mel adds that the pandemic forced many people to rethink their values and where they live, and showed them that mindlessly chasing more wasn't the lifestyle they wanted.

• 04

  'Unboss' yourself by thinking like an owner, even if you stay employed.

  Most of us grew up watching caregivers equate safety with being someone's employee. Amy's idea of 'unbossing' means believing you can lead yourself. Someone with this mindset doesn't seek everyone's approval or show up saying 'I'm stuck', but brings options and asks which is best. Mel says the best people on her own team think this way, taking responsibility and figuring things out instead of licking their wounds.

• 05

  Immerse yourself in the world you want to join.

  Amy cleaned up her social media and followed people who had the kind of business she wanted. She then started seeing them everywhere, the same way you notice a car model after buying one. She also changed her identity by asking what bosses do: they listen to business podcasts, read books and buy courses.

• 06

  Ask for advice, and bring the work with you.

  Find people doing what you want and ask how they did it. If you can't pay, their podcasts, videos and posts already contain much of their advice. Amy's tip for getting a reply is to describe your challenge and two or three options you're weighing, then ask which they would pick. That way you've done the thinking instead of asking someone to solve your problem.

• 07

  Action is the only thing separating people who do from people who don't.

  Mel's view is that there is no secret formula. Everyone wants freedom and income. What separates people is being willing to go one step further than the person who quit. She also urges putting half as much energy into 'why not?' as you currently put into shooting down your own ideas.

• 08

  Lead with courage, not confidence.

  Amy argues that confidence comes from a track record, so you won't have it when you're starting something new. Instead she says to draw on courage, based on your record of getting through obstacles in the past. Confidence follows once you've taken action and seen small results.

• 09

  Someone already doing it proves there's a market.

  If you think the field is already taken, Amy's response is that it proves there's money and demand. There are more than eight billion people, and you only need a sliver of them: ten buyers of a $100 program make $1,000 you didn't have. Mel adds that you're best placed to help the person you used to be. She would rather learn from an instructor who looks like her than from a 28-year-old doing donkey kicks.