Former CIA Spy: How to Read Anyone, Think Clearly, and Protect Yourself

KEYPOINTS

• 01

  A life you think is "cast in stone" can change almost overnight

  Jonna grew up in Wichita, Kansas, expecting to marry, have kids and work with books. A friend's wedding in Germany turned into never going home: she cold-called American banks from a Frankfurt station phone book (four calls; Chase Manhattan said come in), then married a CIA officer. Her summary: nobody else is going to change your life but you.

• 02

  Being excellent at a job is what gets you permission to do bigger work

  She joined the CIA as a secretary, the role it hired women for, and rose to the director's secretary, a dead end with "no up." When she mentioned leaving for the Smithsonian, her boss steered her into agency photography training. Her rule from a male-dominated field: if you can do the work excellently, they will let you do the work.

• 03

  A mid-career pivot isn't starting over, because you carry every skill with you

  Falling for India on a temporary photo trip, she took the only opening there, in disguise. The switch looked unwise but made her someone who could do photography, disguise and some forgery, the path to Chief of Disguise. Mel's point: each pivot built on the last. Jonna admits changes that cost salary or a move are genuinely hard, but calls change "the most refreshing thing any of us can do."

• 04

  People betray their country for four reasons: MICE

  Recruiters (all nicknamed "James") had to find a flaw before the pitch. Reasons boil down to Money (in her experience, Americans), Ideology (Soviet recruits whose families were broken by Stalin), Compromise (blackmail, rarely used because it worked poorly) and Ego, "the big one": people passed over, sure their boss is stupid, nursing grudges.

• 05

  Charisma alone doesn't make a good spy, because the job offers no applause

  The agency wanted officers who could charm a stranger at a bar, but those who needed constant praise didn't flourish: there were "no attaboys," no thank-yous, only the next job. Her top lesson from 30 years: you never accomplish anything alone.

• 06

  Good disguise is about changing every small detail, not just a wig

  Her team described a target in fine detail (hair, makeup, ring, watch) and changed every element. Men were harder, so they added cologne, a gold chain or an extra open button and removed the ring. Officers wore a hated shirt from the back of the closet with a written character sketch, then were tested by eating lunch unrecognized beside their bosses in the CIA cafeteria.

• 07

  Courage isn't a trait you're born with; it comes from confidence built by preparation

  Courage comes from knowing what you're doing and how you can affect a situation, which in the CIA meant near-constant training. "If I can have courage, anyone can." You build it by confronting things that scare you, including conversations.

• 08

  Intuition sounds like a clear statement; fear sounds like a stream of what-ifs

  Jonna tracks hunches about people "like a newspaper story" to check if she was right. Her and Mel's rule of thumb: intuition gives a clear direction that pulls you; anxiety is questioning and noise. In the alley, fear said turn back; intuition said walk.

• 09

  Liars tend to try too hard, but eye contact is not a reliable tell

  Her signs: nervousness, trying too hard to convince you, bouncing around in the story, refusing to let it go. Eye contact often breaks down, but she doesn't treat it as a lie detector. These are an officer's observations, not a validated test.

• 10

  When the world feels overwhelming, breathe and take small steps on one fight

  Jonna worries about the planet and next generation: ingenuity exists, the will doesn't, and "nobody is calling balls and strikes," so individuals must pick a fight to support. Mel counters that most people are good and want to work together.