Reinvent Yourself: Let Go of Past Mistakes & Create a New Version of You With Charlamagne tha God

KEYPOINTS

• 01

  Turning your life around starts with deciding the current way isn't working

  Charlamagne grew up in a single-wide trailer on a dirt road in Moncks Corner, South Carolina. His mom was an English teacher, and his dad struggled with addiction, mental health and the law. His father warned him he'd end up 'in jail, dead, or broke sitting under a tree.' Mel's takeaway is that you don't need to know what the new life looks like. You just need to decide 'I'm not doing it like this anymore,' because despair is often the biggest obstacle.

• 02

  You don't have to know what you want, just that you want to do something

  After the streets, he took any job that kept him out of them: Taco Bell, a mall clothing store, and telemarketing '20 CDs for a penny.' His acronym for the mindset is PEACE: 'positive energy activates constant elevation.'

• 03

  There's no redo on life

  Watching older guys he admired end up exactly where his dad predicted made something click: the day you're living is gone for good. He quotes Biggie, 'being broke at 30 give a brother the chills,' and admits he was still broke at 30, but by then he was on his way in radio.

• 04

  Love every version of yourself

  He says 20-year-old him didn't know what 46-year-old him knows, so why punish yourself for what you didn't know? He imagines hugging his 8-, 16- and 20-year-old selves and thanking them for choices like reading or getting into radio. A therapist told him you can't have the success without the problems. His Back to the Future line: Marty McFly went back to help his parents, not to curse them out. Mel notes the same grace extends to other people.

• 05

  If you don't deal with your trauma, it will deal with you

  He started therapy when the panic attacks and depression were getting worse even as his money and success peaked, and while he 'wasn't doing right' by his wife. Critics call him a fake mental health advocate. He says he did the work because 'hurt people hurt people.' He believes '99.9%' of adult struggles trace back to childhood, so he talks to his inner child daily: 'calm down, we know why that is causing you to act that way.'

• 06

  He was disciplined for things he was never taught

  His first real breakthrough in therapy was seeing that his father raised him 'out of fear, not love,' terrified his son would repeat his mistakes. The proof was an incident at 16: his dad slapped him for running a stop sign that his dad had just run himself. He adds that kids will live their lives regardless, so 'you got to let them.'

• 07

  The microphone can cause hurt or healing

  He was once called 'the hip-hop Howard Stern' and admits saying things while drunk or high. Fired from radio four times, he was in 'by any means necessary' survival mode when he joined The Breakfast Club in 2010, after serving as Wendy Williams's 'attack dog.' Young artists like Young Thug told him his jabs hurt because their families listened. He now tells podcasters and hosts to 'choose the healing.'

• 08

  When generosity gets turned against you, treat it as data

  He described people he lifted up turning antagonistic. Mel applied her Let Them framework: they may not have done the inner work, so lifting them up 'drags up the devil inside.' Let them reveal who they are, then let me choose how much time and energy to give. 'Don't stop giving. Just not to them.' His version: God judges you by how you treat people, not by how they treat you.

• 09

  Skip small talk by knowing your IG

  In Get Honest or Die Lying he says IG stands for intention and goals: know why you're in the conversation and get to it. 'I didn't order the appetizer, give me the entrée.'