Living With Purpose: Timeless Wisdom for a More Meaningful Life
- Guest
- —
- Read time
- ~5 min
- Uploaded
- 16 Sept 2024
- Duration
- 1:03:28
- Views
- 63.6K
KEYPOINTS
- 01
An anniversary drive turned into a moment Mel will never forget
Driving home in pitch-black, pouring rain after dinner on their 27th wedding anniversary in Southern Vermont, Mel saw a flash of white swoop onto the road and get hit by an oncoming car. She yelled for Chris to stop and ran out in heels and a dress, lit by headlights through the rain, to find an adult barred owl with a wingspan she estimates at three and a half to four feet and one wing flipped backwards.
- 02
Time stopped when the owl looked at her
As Mel crouched over it, the owl slowly turned its head and locked eyes with her. She describes it as the craziest experience of her life — a few seconds that felt like years — and compares it to meeting Gandalf. She believes darkness and drama made it feel otherworldly in a way daylight might not have.
- 03
Mel's family read it as a message
The Robbins family are devoted Harry Potter fans — Chris read the series to the kids nightly, and they've watched the films about nine times — and Mel had always wanted a Hedwig. In those stories owls carry messages between worlds, so holding one in her lap on her anniversary, Mel was convinced it meant something. Online, she read that owls are seen as messengers who usher in change.
- 04
Lesson 1: look up
On an owl walk Mel learned you can't spot owls looking down; you scan the canopy for a shadowy, foot-tall shape. She applies it to life: we spend so much time staring at phones and the ground that we miss things. She now hikes with her phone zipped away instead of filming videos, texting or listening to audiobooks.
- 05
Lesson 2: open yourself up to magic
Mel now steps into the woods expecting to see an owl. She admits she's seen only one in the wild in a year, but hears barred owls calling 'who cooks for you' at night and believes expecting something draws it to you.
- 06
Lesson 3: be interested, and your life gets interesting
Owls symbolize wisdom, but Mel concluded the real gift was the family's curiosity. Learning that barred owls nest in hollow, rotting trees changed how she sees the woods: she used to want dead wood cleared, now she wants it left for owls and the chipmunks they eat. She contrasts a friend's husband who studied soccer and enjoys it more with her own nine years at her daughters' lacrosse games without learning the positions.
- 07
Lesson 4: don't let meaning turn into clutter
Mel went from loving owls to 'the owl lady': a 20-pound cement owl on the porch, owl statues, two owl jigsaw puzzles, Chris's owl swim trunks, owl socks, and finally an owl item bought at a friend's store in Middlebury. One or two objects keep something symbolic; dozens dilute its meaning. She declared a family moratorium and asked listeners not to send her owl gifts.
- 08
Lesson 5: experiences beat objects
'You'll never see a hearse pulling a U-Haul.' Mel can't recall her 2nd, 11th or 23rd anniversaries but will never forget the owl. She says she has wasted a lot of money and effort chasing stuff, and that time and money spent on experiences enrich life far more.
EXAMPLES
- 01
The rescue, step by step
A driver behind them offered a big Caribbean-blue beach towel — just as Mel was about to scoop up a bird with a beak and talons that could hurt her. She wrapped it, tucked in the broken wing, and held it on her lap while Chris stretched the seatbelt around both of them. Their vet, Dr. Bob, called back within minutes and pointed them to the Vermont Institute of Natural Science (VINS). Following online rescue videos, they put the owl in a laundry basket in Chris's tractor barn with plywood on top.
- 02
Why the owl was hit, and how it ended
Mel later learned owls' eyes are fixed, so they turn their heads — up to 270 degrees — to track prey while flying silently. She thinks it locked onto a small creature hopping across the road and never saw the car. It survived the night; VINS volunteers took it after about four hours, saying it looked like a broken clavicle. Three days later Mel learned it hadn't made it. She was crushed, and says the loss sparked the family's obsession.
- 03
The 'owl house'
Christopher Robbins shares a name with Winnie the Pooh's friend, who goes to Owl's house for advice, so the family started calling their home the owl house. Chris and Sawyer spent a weekend building a three-foot plywood nest box, then hauled the roughly 40-pound box about 25 feet up a tree with an extension ladder.
- 04
Chris the 'owl whisperer'
On a hike near home, Chris found a barred owl about 10 feet away, which called to a second owl; they swapped branches and the second stared at him. A psychic Mel consulted, Kim Russo, said owls represent higher wisdom and a new chapter. Mel notes Chris has since been finishing a master's in spiritual psychology, leading men's retreats, certifying as a death doula and in holotropic breathwork — during which, he said, he spent two hours feeling like an owl in flight.
- 05
The 28th anniversary
Searching 'owl experience Vermont', Mel booked a 90-minute private session at New England Falconry in Woodstock. At their hotel, the welcome box held a small hand-painted pottery dish — with an owl, one of 12 animal designs. The next day a tiny burrowing owl flew between their gloves, and trainer Anastasia's barn owl circled and returned when they raised a hand.
OTHER RELEVANT
- 01
Pick a subject to learn deeply
Mel's father, who hustled pool in college and medical school, moved to Muskegon, Michigan, home of Brunswick, and became a billiards collector; his garage room now looks like a museum, and he told her one cue is worth $11,000. Interest, she says, makes you more interesting too.
- 02
Keep one or two symbols, not a collection
If an experience moves you, mark it with a single meaningful object and put the rest of your money toward doing things.
- 03
Start the day expecting something good
Try Mel's line for Oakley: 'I'm going to meet somebody cool today' or 'discover something cool today'. She believes it points your attention toward the good, making it far more likely you'll notice when it happens.