7 Longevity Secrets From My Rockstar 85 Year Old Mother-in-Law | The Mel Robbins Podcast

KEYPOINTS

• 01

  Longevity here means a vibrant, connected life, not just more years

  Mel interviews her mother-in-law, Judie Robbins, nearly 86 and widowed at 68 after 45 years of marriage. Judie ran her first marathon at 70 (with Mel), went skydiving for the first time at 81, held a 2.5-minute plank at 82, and lifts heavier weights than Mel in barre class. People routinely guess she's in her early 70s. Mel's question is how Judie built a life where, at 85, her best days still feel ahead of her.

• 02

  A morning routine she enjoys

  Judie wakes early and turns on her home sauna. She has an Emergen-C drink and a latte back in bed, checks email on her phone and plays a practice hand of bridge (Mel admits that's the opposite of her own advice). She meditates in the sauna for 15–20 minutes, then drinks kombucha with apple cider vinegar and fresh orange juice, and walks five miles. She notes that walking 18 holes of golf counts for the day.

• 03

  Movement is a non-negotiable habit, and missing it makes her grouchy

  Judie never had an exercise routine until she and her husband started running in their 30s. She switched from running to walking around 75. Her motivation is what Mel calls 'good guilt': if her phone shows less than 10,000 steps, she feels it. She chose a three-floor condo on purpose, with laundry on the bottom floor and the bedroom on top, and always takes the stairs. Her rule is no weeks off, because a week off becomes 10 days.

• 04

  Social connection may matter even more than exercise

  Judie thinks being social is 'almost more important than exercise' because it makes you feel loved. She says sedentary friends her age seem depressed but won't admit it, and use excuses like rain to stay in. She keeps younger friends as well as old ones, hosts a weekly bridge game for 16 women from a list of about 40, and has a longtime group she calls the Vermont Chicks.

• 05

  If you feel unloved, create love by caring for someone

  Asked what she'd tell someone with no one who loves them, Judie answered right away: take hospice training and care for someone. She has volunteered in hospice for more than 40 years and calls it the most rewarding thing she does. She also visits a friend with Parkinson's, and says even 15 minutes matters. 'You can't say you're too busy.'

• 06

  Don't wait for others to call

  Judie admits she has wondered why her kids don't call more. She has decided that because she's healthy and busy, they wait for her to call, and she'd rather that than calls driven by worry. Mel points out how Judie gives people freedom to live their lives without keeping score, which saves her a lot of resentment.

• 07

  Talk to people, not about them

  When a friend with early Alzheimer's began insisting she didn't have it, another friend asked Judie whether to tell a mutual friend. Judie said to call the woman's husband directly. Her rule: if you're worried about someone, call them. She plans to ask another friend directly whether she's worried about herself, because 'everybody's talking about her but nobody's talking to her.'

• 08

  Gratitude and the present moment keep her young at heart

  Judie doesn't take any day for granted, because nobody is guaranteed tomorrow. She's grateful for her family, her health and her original knees and hips. She thinks stress comes from expecting what you don't have, and quotes her mother: 'You're going to wish your life away.' She adds that the process and anticipation are often the best part.

• 09

  Keep love and adventure in your life

  Judie has 'always had a man in my life' since being widowed. About a year and a half after her husband's death came Bill. Then came Hans, with whom she had a 10-year relationship before he moved to a retirement community, and they're still close friends. Now she's with John, whom she asked out herself at a local event. At 85 the two went on a cattle drive at a Montana dude ranch, her first time on a horse in about 40 years.