Don’t Take Life Too Seriously: How to Have More Fun | The Mel Robbins Podcast

KEYPOINTS

• 01

  Laughing at yourself is a separate skill from not caring what people think

  Mel splits it in two. Not caring is what let her whisper to a friend that she had a wedgie and tell the whole table what happened in the bathroom. Laughing at yourself goes further: you loosen your grip on the moment and find it funny instead of something to replay. She says both matter, and the second is the one that has felt most freeing to her.

• 02

  The same embarrassing moment can go one of two ways

  Shuffling toward the museum, she could have beaten herself up for buying the wrong size, always getting things wrong, screwing up and running late. Or she could laugh at how ridiculous it was that her first fancy event in about three years came with a wardrobe disaster. She credits herself with choosing the second, and notes that the 'old Mel' would have turned it into self-criticism.

• 03

  Letting people in on the joke changes the dynamic

  Her producer Jesse points out that Mel doesn't keep these moments private. She announces them. When you do, the people around you stop thinking about their own insecurities and laugh with you, which she calls a gift, especially with people you've only just met. Mel applies the same idea to posting unflattering, real-life photos of herself online.

• 04

  Self-deprecating humour works because it's relatable and touches what people don't say

  Amy, who performs amateur stand-up and improv, says the story is funny because everyone has been there and because it's the kind of thing nobody talks about. She stresses laughing at yourself in a warm 'that's funny that I always do this' way, not a condescending one. She admits she has always been hard on herself and is still working on it.

• 05

  A sense of humour can be developed; it isn't fixed at birth

  Mel argues you can get funnier and learn to see the world in a funny way. If you don't think you're funny, you can still laugh at the situation, laugh at someone else's joke, help someone through their day with a smile, or teach your kids to laugh at their own spills.

• 06

  Research links an appropriate sense of humour to perceived status and competence

  Mel summarises research her team pulled together, and promises links to the studies: people respect funny leaders more, and someone with an appropriate sense of humour is seen as more confident, powerful, intelligent and likeable, with higher status. She qualifies it: this is about appropriate humour, and she wouldn't tell your boss about a thong wedgie.

• 07

  Taking yourself too seriously is like wearing a bodysuit that's too small

  Her metaphor for the whole episode: refusing to laugh or share your mishaps constricts you and cuts off your 'life force'. 'Unsnapping' judgment, seriousness and the need to be perfect lets more love and connection in, takes pressure off you and, in her view, takes a confident person to pull off.

• 08

  Humour turns a painful memory into a lasting good one

  Mel says she will remember the day for most of her life, and that what she recalls is the laughing, her friends and the event, not the discomfort. Turning something embarrassing and slightly painful into something hilarious and relatable 'shifted everything about it.'