Want to Be Happier Right Now? Don’t Make This Mistake (New Surprising Science)

KEYPOINTS

• 01

  Stop chasing 'happy' as a state; aim to be happier through points of joy

  Psychiatrist Dr. Judith Joseph says the picture-perfect idea of happiness is unattainable, which is why so many people feel they can never reach it. In her framing, happiness is not a destination but the accumulation of small moments of joy across a day. Shifting from 'I need to be happy today' to 'there are points of joy available today' makes the goal reachable, and the moments add up to feeling happier overall.

• 02

  Anhedonia is the clinical name for feeling 'meh', 'blah' or numb

  Joseph uses the old medical term anhedonia (an = lack of, hedon = pleasure) for the flat, autopilot state many high-functioning people describe as 'I'm okay' when they actually feel nothing. She says most people experience it at some point, but not usually in long stretches. French psychologist Théodule Ribot first described it in the 1800s, linking it with depression, substance use and schizophrenia; Joseph argues it is now showing up far more broadly.

• 03

  Naming a feeling lowers stress (affect labeling)

  Preschools hang face charts labeling happy, sad, angry and hurt because children need to name feelings to act on them. Joseph says adults stop being trained to do this. If you cannot identify how you feel, you cannot trace it back to the thought or experience that caused it. Knowing what something is makes it less frightening.

• 04

  A biopsychosocial lens explains the rise in numbness

  Bio: possible effects of the virus on the brain (she cites a figure that about 70% of people were infected), genetics, and diet-driven inflammation from nutritional psychiatry research. Psycho: unprocessed trauma, worsened by 'just world' thinking that blames victims. Social: mixed messages about whether people were safe, isolation, and connection moving online, with CDC reports showing children's mental health declining.

• 05

  We 'do, do, do' instead of 'feel, feel, feel', and excess soothing replaces processing

  Joseph describes society soothing itself with excess: rising binge drinking in previously protected groups, unhealthy online sexual habits, record online shopping and constant social media. They distract but never satisfy, because the trauma never gets processed. Her image is her daughter hit by wave after wave at the beach without catching her breath: the pandemic, police brutality, political unrest, wars.

• 06

  Doctors often miss it because high-functioning people aren't 'impaired'

  Clinicians typically code a problem only when it causes impairment. If you are working, caring for your family and nobody is complaining, a vague 'nothing gives me pleasure' tends to get a 'see you next year.' Joseph's focus is on exactly these people who are getting it done and look successful from the outside but carry a low ache inside.

• 07

  Memory gaps and constant work can be trauma responses

  Many patients, and even Joseph's own lab team, describe 2020 as a blur. She says forgetting large stretches is a recognized trauma response, so you shouldn't blame yourself for it. Numbing is also part of fight, flight or freeze. Many entrepreneurs remain in fight-or-flight, and work that came home 'temporarily' never left.

• 08

  Anhedonia, and joy, are contagious

  Anxious leadership passes fear down an organization, rewarding people for working more and feeling less. The reverse is also true: when she became more joyful, her lab and her daughter did too.

• 09

  Shift the behavior first and the feelings follow

  She draws on cognitive behavioral therapy's thought-feeling-behavior triangle. Therapy classically works on thoughts first, but changing a behavior even when you don't feel like it pushes the whole system the other way. She says the effect starts with the first point of joy you savor, and the benefit comes from adding those points up consistently. Not feeling at all is a form of self-gaslighting; validating how you actually feel is where repair begins, even if sadness or tears come first.

• 10

  Self-care is basic needs, not elaborate treats (HALTS)

  Joseph extends the familiar HALT check (hungry, angry, lonely, tired) with an S for stuck, her everyday word for anhedonia. A rushed manicure, she notes, can be stressful rather than restorative. For the body, she suggests mood-supportive foods such as green vegetables, omega-3-rich fish, antioxidant berries and dark chocolate, while acknowledging you can't control genetics or some disease states.