NYU Psychologist: The Truth About Why You Can't Stop Eating (and What Actually Works)

KEYPOINTS

• 01

  Emotional eating is about the pause, not willpower

  Dr. Rachel Goldman, a clinical psychologist, NYU professor and eating-behaviour specialist, defines emotional eating as turning to food to soothe any emotion: boredom, stress, sadness, anger, even happiness. It is impulsive and reactive. She compares it to a child's tantrum, where a timeout simply creates a pause; adults need an 'adult timeout' to tune inward before acting.

• 02

  Physical hunger and emotional hunger behave differently

  Physiological hunger means your body needs fuel, so you grab whatever is there, like the fruit in the fridge, and go. Opening and closing cabinets after dinner signals you're searching for something specific that probably isn't in the kitchen. Food in that moment is 'a distraction, but not a solution'.

• 03

  Diet culture taught us to tie our worth to our bodies

  Goldman says we've all absorbed messages that we 'should' be thin, shouldn't be hungry, or shouldn't eat certain foods. As a result many people link their self-worth to body size, shape and eating behaviour. That shame is what keeps people stuck, and her approach is deliberately shame-free.

• 04

  Restricting drives the binge cycle

  'I was bad yesterday, so today I'll be good' means restricting, which leaves you so hungry that you later eat impulsively or overeat. Restriction also keeps your brain fixated on food, which she links to what people call 'food noise'. Many clients say 'I barely eat and can't lose weight', and she says that is part of the problem: cortisol keeps the body in survival mode.

• 05

  After a binge, eat something in the morning anyway

  Evening binges leave you bloated, maybe with reflux, and not hungry on waking, so you're tempted to skip food to make up for it. The key, she says, is to eat something small, which breaks the overeat-then-restrict loop instead of restarting it.

• 06

  Watch for three warning signs of disordered eating

  First, thoughts about food or your body are consuming your day (hating your reflection, comparing sizes). Second, rigid food rules, such as 'I can't eat before 10am'. Third, it affects daily functioning or causes distress, such as isolating, being late or skipping meetings with food. Any of these is a sign to seek professional help, and she says there's nothing wrong with you for needing it.

• 07

  Healthy habits can tip into orthorexia

  Orthorexia, a term introduced in 1996, is when healthy eating becomes an obsession. She says it has surged with social media and wellness culture. The test is the thought behind the behaviour: 'I'm skipping wine because I want dessert later' is balance; 'I can't have this because I ate it yesterday' is rigid. Obsessive distress over a missed gym day, or weighing yourself repeatedly in a day, suggests it has crossed over.

• 08

  Eating regularly is part of treatment

  Many people avoid help because they fear treatment will make them gain weight. Goldman says regular eating is often what stabilises things, and the shame keeps people from asking.

• 09

  Breakfast is a self-care signal, not just a meal

  She frames sitting down to nourish yourself as setting up a positive cycle for the day. Running on caffeine and an empty stomach leaves you distracted by food until lunch. She would rather people celebrate 'I took time for myself and had breakfast' than 'I had the willpower to skip eating'.

• 10

  GLP-1 drugs are a real tool for obesity, but not a crash diet

  For people with obesity or diabetes, she says these drugs level the playing field, because their weight didn't respond biologically to the same healthy choices others made. Using them to drop 5–10 pounds before a wedding, or via mail-order microdosing, is a diet in her view and not sustainable. Lifestyle changes, a dietitian and mindset work with a psychologist still matter. She rejects the idea that being body-positive means you can't change your body.